Whirlpool

Phewww!!!!!!!! what a weekend!!!! i wish i had read the comments you guys left for me. A lot of drama would have been avoided this weekend. It was the craziest ever and i think i should leave the story to another day. Lets say i experienced another side to my personality, the angry one. Let me tell you just one of the crazy things that happened. i got so mad due to the argument i had with the ex, that i tossed my phone at him, took my bags and started walking on the road to an unknown destination in an unknown town. It was dramatic, details later. I am going on a long weekend to another state to stay with one of my girlfriends. I am really looking forward to it. A time away to clear my head. Im beginning to think that my moving here was a major disaster and i should never have moved. Does anyone have experience or know how to stop liking this ex or even stop calling or texting him. I really want to stop but then i find my fingers dialling his number or sending a text. Lately, I have been getting this urge to ask him out again cuz im so vulnerable right now and im still kinda hung over him. Guys, what do u think cuz it feel he still does like me. Im sorry that it seems all my posts r revolved around him but technically, i started this blog to pour out my life issues esp relationships and get advice from y''all so pls bear with him.

I am searching for an apartment. Its hard work. im so choosy. Any tips on what to look out for cuz this is the first time im renting all by myself. I have always lived with family.
Job hunting starts next week, im so nervous cuz it can really be stressful but i guess i have to be strong. I didnt know moving will be this difficult and emotional.
Anyway, looking forward to your generous advice as usual.
Have a nice week

Dilemma

Thank you so much for making me feel really welcome here. I feel like im actually part of a huge family with people watching your back. I appreciate it.
I am getting settled in my new town now and i can see a lot of drama ahead especially with the ex, lets call him Jason. Since he knew i was coming, he asked me to help him get some stuff which he paid for so definitely i had to see him. He picked me up from my friend's house (the only girlfriend i have here) so i could give him the stuff and offered to drop me at my aunt's place which im staying temporarily. We started talking and all and i must admit, im so not over him. Anyway, mid way, his phone rings while i was trying to text with it and it was his ex, the girl he dated before me. Let me rewind briefly. I have major issues with the girl cuz they are too close for comfort. I believe ur ex with someone for a reason so how can u be very good friends without feelings. I feel he's always trying to rub it in my face. When we were dating, we had alot of arguments cuz of the girl. Can u guys believe that when we broke up, the only person he went to confide in was this same ex. So many instances where i have felt he put her before me. I cant even start ranting about it. Last week, i was talking to him on the phone and the conversation
went like this,
jason: guess who is also writing the exam (he's writing this prof. exam in his field)
me: who?
jason: ur best friend. just guess.
I take a couple of guesses and i was wrong
me: r u going to tell me or what? oh wait, ur ''ex''
jason: yea, so we r going to be studying together....

People, what the f was that about? he knows that this babe's issue is a sensitive one to me, yet he's telling me these things. whats my business? I was so irritated but didnt say anything.
Now, yesterday, the babe called him twice. Is he trying to get back with her? Am i wrong to be sensitive over it? If he still likes her, im cool with that but he should not flirt with me and tell me i look so good, he cares about me and the yarns he was on about yesterday.
Im stupid, and i did something really stupid. I agreed to come spend the weekend with him. I know it was foolish of me and what do you guys think of the sex with an ex thing. i dont know why i agreed? i think cuz i still like him but there's just so much drama and i just want to get him out of my life as soon as possible so i can be a new being in this new place. I am in a dilemma i put myself. Please Help!!!!!!!!

The start...........

I love writing and discovering a platform where i can vent without compromising my identity is a dream come true. I am not new here and i have seen how everyone learns from each other's blog and how beneficial just writing and pouring out to strangers can be. To this, i start my blog. I have been given an opportunity to start my life afresh in a new town with new people. I am so blessed as i can finally try to put behind some of my ''past'' mistakes. Note the word past, as i have realized that in life, you can not always forget the past as that is what makes us who we are. With all my little life experiences in family, love and friends, i hope i can structure my future and find myself in this world. I learn everyday and these lessons shape me to be the person i am. Moving to a new place is quite daunting and i am scared, very scared. I have never told anyone before. I am worried. For one, i have to start all over, look for a job and build myself. Even though i made the decision myself as i think it is the best i can do for me. I need a fresh start. The funny thing is i dont know if i can get the so called clean break i need. I recently broke up with my boyfriend. I really love him and he said he needed space to be himself, the usual, its not you its me reason. Guess what, he lives in the town i am moving to. It is a major problem for me and the fact that i have been trying to get over him is making it harder. He still wants us to be friends but i dont even know. Its a huge town, chances of us running to each other if we eventually stop talking is slim, but right now, he's helping me with moving and settling. Wish me luck. Hopefully writing here will help me regain sanity, settle down and move on with my life once and for all
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